is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
