no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
