Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
