I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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