Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
