Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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