Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my poor anus
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
