I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
