I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
