and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
