called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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