Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This house was built for laser tag.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
