he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
