Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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