i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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