I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
