Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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