she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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