The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
