I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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