it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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