We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
