Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
