i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
