I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
