What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
