So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
