Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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