i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
