Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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