I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
