Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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