whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
