I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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