Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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