Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
