his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
