I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
