the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Farmville is her only friend.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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