Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
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