that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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