508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
