I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize