Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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