Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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