The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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