he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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