so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
