You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My liver just broke up with me...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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