Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Randomize
