PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
