just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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